Returning from Ohio

Jeff and I have just returned from a wonderful weekend spent with Ethan in Ohio! We Explored the Boonshoft Discovery Museum where we let Ethan lead us in lots of hands on imaginary play, saw lots of exotic reptiles, amphibians and, mammals and then spent lots of time playing outside on the grounds of the museum, climbing rocks, exploring the surrounding woods, pretending to build campfires and roast marshmallows and hotdogs, and even more climbing of just about everything "climbable"! Ethan is definitely an imaginative, kinetic, flexible, adaptable and, loving little boy!
We also spent lots of time at the hotel using art supplies that I brought from Portland; modeling clay, gel paints, markers were all put to great use! Ethan really loves to paint and loved the manipulative aspects of using the clay!
We also played a bit with legos brought from Ethan's mother's house and with an airplane that Jeff and I bought for Ethan at "Cracker Barrel", definitely a culinary experience though, not one I need to repeat! Ohio certainly has a lack of vegetable matter and a wealth of fast and processed food options! I'm glad to be back in lush, sustainable, culinary adventure land, Portland!
Ethan also really enjoyed the "Flippin' Froggies" and "I Spy Go Fish" game I brought from Portland! Thank goodness for Finnegans when you need to make and emergency, non-"plastic America" toy run!
There was lots of story reading! It was a pleasure to get to read many of the books that Jeff and I just got for Ethan for Hannukah! Ethan and I both especially loved reading(and re-reading) "In the Night Kitchen", "Where the Wild Things Are" and "I Stink"!
Ethan really wanted to spend the night at the hotel with us and, though it was hard to refuse him, when he was so clearly ready to stay with Jeff and I, I am proud of all of us for abiding by the agreements that Jeff and his ex wife made.
There was lots and lots of imaginative play and being silly, lots of wrestling and tickle fights and kisses and hugs!
And that was just Saturday!
On Sunday, We all trekked (in the middle of a power outage, which Ethan weathered beautifully!) to lunch at "Five Guys" and then to "Entertrainment Junction, a museum full of detailed scale replicas of trains through the ages, as well as lots of train related play activities for kids! Ethan, Jeff and I loved it, even though the first hour or so, none of the trains were running due to the afore mentioned power outage!
This was after another morning of art, being silly, imaginative play and lots of fun at the hotel!
Every time we went anywhere in the car, Ethan insisted that I sit next to him, this gave us more bonding time and also reminded me of how bonded and comfortable with me, Ethan already is.  An important developmental step for Ethan and for Jeff and I as we all continue to build our family.
We all talked a lot about how lucky Ethan is to have two families, one in Ohio with his Mommy and Grandpa Bear and many grandmothers and, one in Portland (and Las Vegas) with Jeff and I and my family and with Andi and Les in Las Vegas! We talked about how wonderful it is that he has two houses, one in Ohio with Mommy and one in Portland with Daddy and I! Ethan is very excited to be part of designing his room in the new house, when Jeff and I get to that stage! He is also very eager to come stay with us in Portland. Don't worry Ethan, we can't wait either!
While riding in the car, Ethan and I read more stories, told jokes and all of us rocked out to the sounds of  "The Philadelphia Chickens"!
Most of the time that I was sitting next to Ethan he held my hand and at one point, totally unprovoked looked at me and said, "Hey, you are MY Aviva!", with a huge smile on his face! I think I've just been claimed!
 I was so glad to be a witness to Ethan figuring out how he fits into his family with Jeff and I. what a joy! How lucky we all are!
At the end of the day yesterday, as Jeff and I prepared to get to the airport in Dayton, we dropped Ethan off at his Mom's house and for the first time I got to meet Ethan's Mother and much of his extended family. It was a big step for all of us. I pleased with how I conducted myself and it was great to see Ethan's room, etc. It probably isn't an experience I need to repeat, my focus is and always will be on Ethan and Jeff's wellbeing and the wellbeing of our family. I don't need to relate to or befriend Jeff's ex wife, the potential for misunderstanding and mixed messages is just too great. But, I am proud of all of the adults in Ethan's life for conducting themselves with appropriate decorum for what will probably be a one time event and, really thrilled with how much fun Ethan, Jeff and I had this weekend! Pictures will follow soon!
Much love to you all!

Date night and news of the week

It has been a roller coaster of a week!
 I continue to search for ways to grow my educational (and I've added the word community because I think it is more all inclusive of the type of work I do and want to be doing) consultant business and collecting organizations to consult/work with is a process I can only think is something akin to swimming through peanut butter in my steal toed doc martens of yore!
Especially in this economy, I think schools and other businesses I might work with feel completely confident in thinking that they can just work on their own very slow communication time line and those of us offering services will just wait around until such time as they decide to resurface! Unfortunately, as a result of the economical malaise, the power dynamics inherent in that relationship are rather unavoidable!
I have also reintroduced the writer and performer titles into my professional introductions as both of those things seem be flowing in quite a prodigious and maybe even profit producing fashion, in my life!
The sale of the Beaverton house may or may not happen soon at a different amount and, with different stipulations that we had hoped, chalk another one up to the barreled out economy!
Jeff has been working amazingingly hard, in a very transitional and difficult time at work and seeing the grace and, devotion and. calm he has displayed in regards to both, work and house sale situations, makes me proud to be his wife.
We continue to love each other more and differently, and to know each other more and differently every day! I could not be more thrilled about that!
To that end, we are going on a dinner date to celebrate our one month anniversary of being married, tonight- many thanks to Jeff's parents for sponsoring that event!
Yesterday, my mom and I went shopping for gifts for people who directly contributed to our wedding and she is making thank you cards that will be sent to those people as well as anyone who brought us a gift (even though we asked for no gifts as there will be plenty of opportunity for gift giving at our celebration of continued commitment, family and, community in August). We may also use the thank you cards my mom is designing as the basis for our announcements and invites for the August event! We are so thankful for the support that we have from family, framily, community and, loved ones all around! I feel lucky everyday to be part of my biological and new, immediate family and to have so many people who love and support Jeff and I, everyday!
I am also excited because in less then seven days, I will be able to join Jeff to visit my stepson (though I still prefer and will use whenever possible, the term "bonus", which I am stealing from a friend who is also in the process of blending her family) Ethan!
It will be the first time I have seen Ethan since mid April and my first time in the midwest, Ohio! Get ready to hear about lots of fun indoor and possibly snowy, adventures! I'm sure if Ethan has anything to do with it, one of those adventures will include my introduction to Skyline Chili, apparently an Ohio staple that Ethan loves! I can't wait for any of it!

Just lucky, I guess

At a glamtastic birthday party for a friend this weekend, surrounded by friends, loved ones, soon to be friends and lots of people I didn't know- all of us dancing and imbibing and getting into the spirit, I caught myself in the act of one of many firsts...
While involved in an uproarious conversation with Drew and Susan, mostly involving being in awe of all the glitter, leopard print, big hair and neon people had decked themselves out in.. I noticed that Jeff was not involved in the conversation, probably outside on the back porch or involved in another conversation in the kitchen (we both love the fact that we feel so completely secure in our connection and our love that we don't have to be one of those couple that need to be attached at the hip- I often lose him in social situations or, he loses me, temporarily...), not seeing Jeff I jokingly said, "Where is my husband?"
Hooray! I suddenly realized that was the first time I had ever asked that question, in any manner, especially jokingly. And one of only a handful of times I've referred to Jeff as my husband.
For so long, I thought I would never get married, that this kind of partnership just wouldn't be part of my future. Now that Jeff and I are blissfully, happily, married- I'm so glad I waited, so glad I let love find me and so glad to have truly found my soul mate. I just feel lucky. Everyday, every moment.
In the less then two years that Jeff and I have known each other, we have had to deal with (past, present and, future) some trials and tribulations that many couples hardly face in a decade.
What could have broken many couples apart has served and continues to serve as the part of the safety net that our relationship is, for both of us. Other parts of that safety net include our absolute joy in being with each other and our unending and ever growing love for one another. I love Jeff more everyday, I also know him more everyday and that adds to that ever changing love. I know that Jeff feels the same way about me.
We love each other when things are easy and when they are more difficult, resolve issues quickly and by talking it out. We are always willing to listen.
I love Jeff for who he is and who he will become and because he loves me in the same way. I can't wait for what the future holds and am so glad I married my best friend.
I'm also excited for a very quickly approaching future event, Jeff and I will be visiting Ethan in Ohio in just a few weeks! I can't wait! I'm so excited to see Ethan, especially this first time as his step mother (or as a friend of mine says, "bonus" mother, a term I think is so much more positive and reflective of the relationship that Ethan, Jeff and, I already have...), and can't wait to share Jeff and my joy and love with Ethan! We are all just so very lucky! And I am so lucky to have the love and support of all of you who are reading this. It means the world to me. It means the world to us... Luck, love and, light to you all!

Wedding pictures available!

Hi All,
I will blog more later but,  Jeff and my wedding pictures are now available! go to: www.eberlinwedding.shutterfly.com where you can peruse, order pictures, see a preview of what our August celebration of family, commitment and, community will look like!
Much love to you all!
Aviva

Jumping in head first

2010- Which I'm deciding to call "Twenty - Ten", the alternative seems to clumsy for me... I am prone (being a Gemini) to changing my mind so, don't hold me to that, yet; is starting off with a bang! Lots of exciting personal growth happening!
Jeff and I continue to transition smoothly into marriage. We are still more and more in love and committed to each other every day, every moment. We make each other laugh, challenge each other to take risks on personal and professional levels. We are each other's biggest fan and most honest constructive critic.
There are of course, bumps in the road, we are still living in the house that Jeff owns with his ex wife. Of course this is not ideal in many ways. The location keeps us too far removed from the urban and creative buzz of Portland, proper as well as,  from our beloved and bolstering family and community (both bio and non) who are mostly located in SE Portland. But, Jeff and I have found that we are quite good at finding the good in the difficult.
Living in the Beaverton house has taught me that I am quite good at keeping the house in "show worthy" condition. I had a large hand in the staging of the house as it is now and both the professional stager and I  were very pleased that we were able to stage the house to prime show quality using only things that were already here as well as, things that I brought in when I moved in in the Spring along with art, books, furnishings and, artifacts that Jeff and I collected together. By putting art on the walls and books on the shelves and bringing an honest reflection of Jeff and I and our love that is visible to prospective buyers, the professional stager we worked with felt that we brought a real "soul" to the house that hadn't been there before. It feels wonderful to have contributed in that way to our home in addition to the financial contributions  and responsibilities that Jeff and I share.
Of course, this is an incredibly difficult market in which to sell a property but, we never get any negative feedback. Jeff and I both have faith that eventually the house will sell to the right buyer.
Given what could be seen as a difficulty, I think Jeff and I continue to do a great job of flourishing and growing as a unit and individually, even in less then ideal conditions.
Blogging has really re-awakened my writer self and that, along with Jeff's encouragement has brought me back to my love of and, talent for, performing. I'm auditioning for an exciting ensemble piece called, "Inviting Desire", later this evening! Ironically, this piece was created by a former Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts, London colleague of mine!
I continue to slowly grow my Educational Consulting business and look forward to the time, most likely after the move, when that professional venture can have more of a physical presence and a "home of its own".
Patience is certainly one of my many daily meditations.
Jeff and I are both very excited that later this month we get to go see my new stepson, Ethan at his mother's family home in Ohio! This is the first time that I will be able to visit Ethan and in fact the first time I will have seen him since March. The day Ethan and his mother moved to Ohio was one of the hardest and saddest of my life, not only because I felt Jeff's anguish over the situation but, because, distance certainly didn't and doesn't make continuing to develop a positive relationship with Ethan, easy. I can't wait to see Ethan! Though we have gotten to speak on the phone and Skype a few times, always with hilarious and wonderful results, it just isn't the same as being able to spend time with him in person.
Especially now that Jeff and I are married, I look forward  to seeing Ethan much more and, to many more years of creating a second family full of joy and exciting experiences and, of course, lots and lots of love, for Ethan.
So, even though nothing has been easy or handed to us, Jeff and I continue to blossom and grow together in this new form that our relationship and our family has taken.
We are approaching this new year with excitement and positivity, always taking comfort in the fact that we are the creators of our own destiny and that we are each others greatest support!
So far, it has been a wonderful year! I hope the same can be said for all of you!