on families in all their forms

Having been married nearly two weeks to the love of my life and having experienced a wonderful, informal, spirited, community celebration to mark that union, has certainly got me thinking a lot about family and all of the permutations of that word. I suppose the fact that I am now officially step mother to the wonderful, opinionated, funny, bright and ever energetic, 3 year old, Ethan, adds another dimension to my thoughts on family.
When Jeff and I first started dating, as his first marriage crumbled around him and we found ourselves timidly though quickly falling in love, we began to talk about family, about commitment and connection and what all of that meant. I always understood that Ethan would be and is, part and parcel to any long term commitment I made to Jeff, it wasn't just about us, creating a two person universe, a duo. It was about creating a second but equally viable, valuable, influential and welcoming family for Ethan. And for Jeff's parents and siblings as well as mine. As Jeff and my relationship grew and deepened, in some wonderful and some horrendous, circumstances- I (and I think we) realized it wasn't even just about biological family.
We were so nurtured and loved and supported not just by my family in Portland and Jeff's family in Las Vegas but by our community, our friends and loved ones, near and far, constantly creating for us a safety net, a giant hug, a way to persevere even in difficult times and to rejoice in the wonder of our growing and now official, family.
Our wedding on December 19th, 2009 only served to bolster my belief in and gratefulness for that extended family. I look forward to solidifying those bonds, to building a family, immediate and extended, biological and non-biological with Jeff and with Ethan and with all of you who have helped us to scaffold our family and our love daily.
Families come in so many guises, I am so eternally grateful for all of mine.

Sunday morning...

Northwest grey sky morning seems like as good a time as any to start blogging, and stick to it. Slight wind and barren trees, my year or love and luck. Something Dickensian would fit here. What a year. A roller coaster, the highest and the lowest. My year of luck and finding the love of my life and solidifying that with a wonderful, perfect, marriage surrounded by many of my beloved family, friends and community.

Never thought I would have this opportunity, these opportunities- I am building a family and foundation with my soul mate, my partner, every moment- even in these quiet moments when the earliest of the day creeps into my bones and my thoughts as my love sleeps soundly in the near dawn bedroom above me.

Daily I am building myself a purpose, a career, a way of being which is the way I have always wanted to be in the world. I am radiating love, words, ideas, plans. I am bolstered by my commitments and my convictions. If I have learned nothing from this past year and a bit it is that we grow, that I grow from what tests me and what feeds my soul. Even in the darkest moments, and there have been many- I am more committed then ever to live by my beliefs. To effect the changes in my own life and and in the world through my actions and my words. Being loved and and being so in love has given the strength to stand by my beliefs in working towards basic rights for everyone, to love everyone I love fiercely, to choose my battles and work for communitarian and sustainable ideals for myself and the world. Some days are harder then others. Some days there is poetry. Some days are polemic. Some days there is emptiness and in it I try to remember to just breathe.