Having been married nearly two weeks to the love of my life and having experienced a wonderful, informal, spirited, community celebration to mark that union, has certainly got me thinking a lot about family and all of the permutations of that word. I suppose the fact that I am now officially step mother to the wonderful, opinionated, funny, bright and ever energetic, 3 year old, Ethan, adds another dimension to my thoughts on family.
When Jeff and I first started dating, as his first marriage crumbled around him and we found ourselves timidly though quickly falling in love, we began to talk about family, about commitment and connection and what all of that meant. I always understood that Ethan would be and is, part and parcel to any long term commitment I made to Jeff, it wasn't just about us, creating a two person universe, a duo. It was about creating a second but equally viable, valuable, influential and welcoming family for Ethan. And for Jeff's parents and siblings as well as mine. As Jeff and my relationship grew and deepened, in some wonderful and some horrendous, circumstances- I (and I think we) realized it wasn't even just about biological family.
We were so nurtured and loved and supported not just by my family in Portland and Jeff's family in Las Vegas but by our community, our friends and loved ones, near and far, constantly creating for us a safety net, a giant hug, a way to persevere even in difficult times and to rejoice in the wonder of our growing and now official, family.
Our wedding on December 19th, 2009 only served to bolster my belief in and gratefulness for that extended family. I look forward to solidifying those bonds, to building a family, immediate and extended, biological and non-biological with Jeff and with Ethan and with all of you who have helped us to scaffold our family and our love daily.
Families come in so many guises, I am so eternally grateful for all of mine.
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